Brewery: Vattanac Brewery
Beer: Vattanac Premium Beer
Category: Lager
ABV: 5.0%
Mrs Jockose has just returned from a work trip to Honkers, China and Cambodia. Taking a wild guess on what I might like as a gift by way of thanks for the extreme malnourishment and abject poverty that Tomster G and I had to endure, whilst she had slap-up meals, hunners of bevvy and first-class sightseeing, she returned loaded with beer! Ya beauty! Some from Thailand (unfortunately, I’m too busy to write about that at the moment. I’m a bit Thai-d up), and a Cambodian brew!! Aye, ye heard it right mate – a Cambodian brew! Bet you can’t name a Cambodian beer, huh? Ed. ‘Clue’s in the title, dumbwit.’
Left: Tom telling me what to make for dinner; Right: a little snack I prepared for him whilst he was waiting & Below: haute cuisine and regional beverage enjoyed by Mrs J.
Well, beer lovers, it’s called Vattanac and looks very promising with its gold, white and blue label. Given to Mrs J by the owner of the brewery itself no less, Mr Vattanac. Modestly claiming to be ‘the perfect beer for every occasion’ and at a very decent 5%, the signs are looking good. Today’s immensely special occasion is pallet sofa lounging with Wolfers, on a sunny Sunday avo. Woof woof!
Mrs Jockose saw some wondrous sights in Hong Kong & in oor hoose in Kent
Mrs J also procured (or nicked from a local hostelry more like) the matching glass, which states ‘sharing Cambodian joy’ and ‘brewed for excellence’. Very fine soundbites indeed.
Supplies at the ready and good to go. Wolfers lurking.
Right! Let’s ‘ave it, beer buddies! Ah cannae wait to fire in!
Oh bollox! not got a bottle opener on me. Ah ha, bbq to the rescue, with its handily attached opener. Argh, made a bit of an ass doing that and lost a bit…maybe business class flights don’t suit Vattanac.
Wolfers is playing it cool, although she has spotted the packet of mini-cheddars next to my McCoys ready salted (part of a multi-pack and not to be sold as a single item). I put the beer and the trendy looking glass down next to Wolfy, who has put on her very best serious hairy face. She asks me to sing a traditional Cambodian folk song in keeping with the reverence of the avo, as it is a very special occasion after all. I do my best, with a hearty rendition of She Sells Sanctuary (she’s a dog, she obvs doesn’t know that it was recorded in Barnes and is not actually Cambodian or a folk song- stupid) and she seems quite happy.
Wolfy considers the soulful, soothing lyrics from the harmonic Mr Jockose
I’m going to take a dirty big slug out the bottle (not the mollusc variety- they’re on their summer hols – rather, a drinking measure). Here goes….
Hmmm- 4 gulps down. Very decent.
Easy drinking malty flavour with an excellent dry finish. Lip smacker class. Hmm, it’s actually pretty malty. One could say it’s maltier than an extra malty malteser on a beach in Malta supping a mug of super strength malty Horlicks. Ha ha- just read the small print: ‘all malt brew’. Hmm, well identified, I reckon. Maybe I’m a Cambodian beer connoisseur. Wonder if Mr Vattanac has any jobs going?
The next four gulps go straight down with absolutely no backlash. Interesting. I’m feeling no burp potential here whatsoever, although it looks and tastes a bit gassy. I’ve just done a 10 Km run so maybe everything has just been absorbed:- hops, any form of liquid as I’m completely dehydrated, and gas, all in extremely high metabolism efficiency.
Despite the fizzy appearance, not much of a burp inducer. Such is my failure, Wolfy can’t look me in the eye.
Hold on, there is a wee one coming. Hmm gentle gaseous emission. Wolfers didn’t even bat an eyelid or nose-twinge. Must do better. Nothing to write home about. Maybe my posture is too good or I didn’t drink enough of this feisty little fizzette of a beer. Yes, that’s probably it. I need to down a bucket of these for me to affect the ozone layer. Hmm- mark off for that I’m afraid. Gotta have good burp potential, especially as this might easily fit into the session category.
Finally, a wee burpette arises and Wolfy politely engages with the mini-cheddar
Wolf Child gives me the furry eyeball, one brow raised and silently beseeches me to get a move on. She’s thinking less beer, more mini-cheddars. She understands my strict uncompromising discipline: work first, mini-cheddars after. I’d best scone the rest of that golden beer, for the sake of my wee duggy if nothing else – it’s a tough life.
30 ms later Wolfers has made her move and horses the packet
Overall, a very nice beer. Tasty, malty, refreshing goldenly deliciously beer. Hats off Vattanac. Hats off Cambodia for establishing your first ever brewery in 2021! Here’s to many more! Burp!!!! I knew it would come eventually. Choul mouy!, as they say in Cambodia!!!!
A solid 7.5/10. Pretty sure more research would bring this closer to an 8.5. According to the most awesome gashometer, it’s a mighty 2.5/10. Ye cannae whack it! Deffo not a howling beer. More please. Wonder when Mrs J is going there again?
Sources
Ally Grant photos, May 2024.